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Wow, I just renewed SI.net for the second time… it turns two this month. I can’t believe how quickly the past two years have just flown - this time two years ago I was still in junior uniform, being mistaken as the age that I am now; a year ago, I would definitely not have predicted the things that I ended up pursuing this year. I haven’t had a boyfriend in a year. I’m liking this; yet not.

The Senior Concert Band’s going on a tour down to Wellington for the National Concert Band festival this Thursday; I wish I didn’t feel so ill. My ears are going to kill me on the plane - they’re still infected and clogged.

The ball ended up being a blast. I’m still so incredibly busy that I haven’t had time to burn preball photos (mum did them “professionally” for us all) for everyone, let alone upload them anywhere. The afterball was even better. But all this drama occurred and all that I really have to say is, I just need space.

I find it so ironic that my female counterparts were all so much more drunk than I was (I know my limit, I was pretty tipsy but still knew what I was doing, before I did it) yet were all telling me “Don’t do anything you’ll regret!” and whilst I was talking to a mate, “Be sensible!” Why ironic, you ask? Because they ended up either hooking up with randoms, dancing with foul exes by accident or simply being so loopy and out of it that they fell asleep in corners. Whilst my judgement may not have been the best, I don’t regret doing anything. In fact, I moreso regret not having done what I could’ve done. Especially a month ago with regards to ball dates and an actual date. Sigh.

I need to hold myself together and get over it. If I want to.

I’ve never been one of those girls with a wardrobe full of shoes. At the moment I have the most shoes that I have ever owned… and even then, it’s a bare minimum. I don’t even own a pair of ballet flats - I have to borrow mum’s or sister’s (all of which are a tad too small) if I ever felt like wearing them. So what shoes on earth do you have, Amanda?! Converse Chuck Taylors. They’re lovely. Versatile. You could (and I do) walk for miles in them and not get blisters or sore feet. And they’re fairly warm too; plus there’s none of that fluffing around for the right (plain) coloured socks when you’re about to leave the house. When I’m not wearing those, I’m either at school - thus the school uniform black tie-up shoes or roman sandals in summer - or at hockey - flashy red pair of Asics turf shoes ($200 a pop, ouch).

To be honest, I’ve always secretly wished that I was, just so, when the occasion arises, I wouldn’t think “Oh no, I don’t have any shoes!”.

Anyway, the point is, the school ball is this weekend, and my high-heels that I had worn earlier in the year to another school’s ball is now unfortunately too big. Now don’t ask me how, I honestly have no idea, but half way through the last ball I went to, my feet just started slipping off out the back. Luckily, looks are deceiving and they were only $15 to begin with thanks to having bought them in Taiwan. But it still leaves me the problem of - what shoes am I going to wear?! Tape these old ones on my feet and hope they stay on? Buy new ones? The latter seems such a silly thing to do because I’ll probably really only wear them once - and I won’t be able to find decent $15 shoes here. Not to mention the new issue of not having other shoes to go with my afterball dress.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is about 15% of the reason why I actually dread the upcoming school ball. Everyone else but me are excited. Even the boys are hyped up.

I’m so tired of being sick. Funnily enough, it’s being tired that’s making me sick, as well as the sickness making me tired. What a bloody fantastic cycle!

Really though, I’m sick and tired of being ill. My ears are better than what they were a couple of months ago but the internal infection’s still there; in addition to this, it’s a cold winter and my fatigue just makes me more prone to catching viruses - which, in turn, makes me fatigued.

Things are low for me at the moment. Life seems to have taken its toll on a lot of us and right now, so many things are crashing at the same time, I can’t seem to keep it all afloat. Being sick certainly doesn’t help either. I’m trying to stay kicking and fighting… but it gets hard.

We came 2nd.

It truly sucks too because we only lost the finals by one measly goal scored against us in the last 2 minutes by the “Brisbane Womens Association” team. I’m sorry, maybe I’m being a sore loser but that name sounds absolutely ridiculous. Especially in a tournament where everyone else are high school teams and they’re a rep team. The only consolation I really have is that we managed to hold them out for almost the entire game, and there actually was a chance for us to win. A chance we didn’t manage to seize, but nonetheless, it wasn’t as if we were absolutely wasted 5-0 like we did to some other teams.

I managed to get a fluked goal in our game against Lourdes Hill as well, with a reverse sweep, thanks to their defender being completely caught off-guard when I ran in to tackle her while she was receiving the ball for a “back and around”. I’d only intended to hassle her and put pressure on her, but somehow actually managed to get the ball off her and found myself going one-on-one with the goalie.

There were so many conflicts on tour and I really can’t be bothered to delve into them again; but I must say that the non-hockey-related highlight was going to the Hard Rock Cafe at Surfer’s Paradise on the Gold Coast as part of our post-tournament relaxations.