Friends, acquaintences, and other social matters.

And a young man’s gonna make mistakes, til he hits the brakes

“By the time a person has achieved years adequate for choosing a direction, the die is cast and the moment has long since passed which determined the future.” – Zelda Fitzgerald

I think it’s safe to say that I certainly do not live my life in a very safe manner. Wait, that sentence just sounded retarded. But it makes perfect literal sense in terms of what I’m saying. It’s true – I take a lot of risks, some calculated, but more often than not, I ignore such “calculations” and stick with what I want to do/think I should do/think I can get away with. The latter which sounds absolutely terrible, although thus far I have turned out quite “alright”. Point is, I wholeheartedly agree with the above quote, and I am living my life and making my “big decisions” as I see fit – not in the most “sensible” and “safe” manner at all. Instead, doing what I think will lead to where I’d like to be. I think that if I can’t dream big and try to fly towards such dreams up in the clouds at age 19, then there will be no more-appropriate time to do so.

I’m beyond grateful and appreciative towards my parents’ encouragement and support of me, even in times when they disagree with my decisions; I know there are many, many parents out there who simply do not provide such freedom and constant support towards their children. I’ve noticed (and mum’s also told me) that people are either in positive awe of how brilliant it is, or in absolute shock and horror towards my parents with regards to the fact that my sister and I pursue such “unconventional” pathways – and all with their full backing and support! Other parents that my family knows have either high-5’d us for sticking to our guns and going for it, or have taken it upon themselves to try and convince me that music is a stupid course of study that will lead to nowhere, and no career. They’d list all the reasons why I should study law or whatever instead (this is back at high school when I hadn’t decided on my university degree yet), and how I should just keep music as a hobby, etc. It’s as if the decision is so fucking obvious that only an outright idiot would choose otherwise. Even though I am always polite and try to deflect and then divert such conversations, it always maddens me, right to the very core. I just want to say who the hell do you think you are?! Don’t treat me like a fucking idiot; you say that as if I hadn’t thought of all of the above already, etc. Anyway, I don’t even know how that train of thought got here, because then I got distracted and have been reading something completely irrelevant for the past half an hour. Point is, I’m glad I still have a lot of things that I look forward to, because of the path I’ve chosen. Rather than having chosen one which I dread to face the end of.

Yesterday, with just a towel-bag of essentials, I set off for a very long drive out to a friend’s family house, south-west of mine. The weather hovered from very cloudy, sunny, and then cloudy, spitting rain, sunny, then back to the clouds and eventually decent rainfall. Photographically equipped with only a Canon point-and-shoot in the back pocket of my denim cut-offs, I didn’t take that many photos. The countryside experience is more about the intertwined smell of freshness, cow dung and grass in the air, the bugs that crawl on you, and the thorns, sand and mud on your feet. All in all it made for an interesting day – most certainly a very adventurous drive as I wasn’t quite sure where I was going to end up – with great company, great conversation, great food and great fun. In other words, a bloody great day:

And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Oh what are the chances – you think you wont sink, oh what are the chances – I think what you think?

Who would ever notice how much they used their right thumb? I never did – until earlier to night when I gave myself a burn blister from the misuse of a lighter. At the time, I said that the pain it caused me was more than that of when I got my industrial piercing last month (and trust me, that hurt like a bitch); but in hindsight, I think the only reason it felt like it hurt more was the fact that it was such prolonged pain, emitting from such a small area. Why was I playing with a lighter indoors to begin with? Well, I had received a wax seal stamp for Christmas and was just dying to try it out. It might sound like a completely random present to a lot of people, but I actually write a number of handwritten letters and have been wanting one for ages so despite the fact that my sister had rather ruined the surprise for me last week, I was still delighted today.

I had to resort to using a candle to help melt the wax in the end, but I also left a bit of a mess on the envelope from where the candle’s wax wanted to interfere. Here is the final product, sealing a letter to a very good friend who is now living/studying overseas:

For some reason here, you can’t see the line of the flap of the envelope, but I swear this wax seal isn’t just sitting on a blank piece of paper!

Pavlova and strawberries for dessert was scrumptious. I really ought to stop pigging out, but Christmas makes for such an easy excuse.

How bad do I sound, admitting that I am over the moon about how overcast and almost (if not? I don’t remember) rainy the weather was today, on Christmas Day. It just gave me a really guilt-free excuse to snooze on and off all day, lounge around with my favourite people and unfortunately also over-eat. I’m just proud I haven’t been doing any drinking, haha.

I’m not sure why, when nor how the tradition began, but for some reason, at our household we have our “Christmas feast” on Christmas Eve rather than Christmas Day. Whenever friends enquire and comment about the absurdity of it, I just say that it means the kitchen is calmer on Christmas Day and we just spend the day indulging in the plentiful leftovers from the previous night. My mum is an excellent cook and Christmas is no exception. We had turkey that was covered in bacon strips, which came out superbly crispy – my favourite texture for bacon. Being so good at roasting things, mum made sure that the turkey was perfectly well done, but retained all of its juiciness. She even made me take pictures as I was cutting it up for proof of its moisture! The vegetables were roasted along with the turkey, giving everything that delicious taste and smell. I’m not a fan of oysters but I did try one, thinking that perhaps I’d prefer them cooked rather than the raw ones I’ve tried, although it didn’t change my mind about them at all. However, what I did thoroughly enjoy was the melted cheese and sauce that mum had topped it with – there was even some leftover sauce in the pan that I ended up using as a sort of gravy on the turkey.

Snowflake had been well fed with Whiskas tin food, which mum especially picked out a turkey flavoured tin of, so for once he was looking rather dozy and disinterested rather than attempting to hijack our dinner table. There have been a couple of incidents in the past where he has actually caught us off guard, with our backs turned, and stolen meat off the table!

Being such a night owl, a personal downside of mine towards having Christmas during summer time is how late the sun sets – tonight it set well past nine o’clock, and we have to wait until it’s well late to turn the Christmas lights on. I know it’s energy conserving and all, but I just love fairy lights so much that they’re a permanent fixture in my bedroom, even. Maybe I’ll take pictures of this at some point.

Dinner was then followed by a dessert of blueberry cheesecake. My hasty photos don’t really do the cake much justice because I was more preoccupied with the notion of getting to eat it, but Lottie can attest to how amazing it was. I told her today when she had a slice that she never should have turned it down last time, and I don’t think she ever will again!

Anyway, I’m just rambling and rambling about food in an uncohesive manner, I’ll just let your visual imaginations take over and get into bed to do some more reading.

Hope everyone had a lovely and safe Christmas.

we sway, we grab, at the strands, and the skin, couldn’t cause anymore friction than this

This day a month ago, I was spending the day at Santa Monica with my sister, gorging on frozen yoghurt and feasting on the novelty of simply being there. Just now I’ve attempted to add another day onto my California journal, which is a classic Moleskin notebook that I’ve lived in and lived out of for the duration of my trip. Currently the night of Friday 12th November is still being written out, if only in bullet points that include the details of what happened, what I saw, what I thought, etc. I want to get it all down ASAP before it all slips away from me… but the delicate tiers and layers to my sweet, bitter and bitter sweet memories are just so intricate and intertwined. It’s as if I have to write down every tangent I ever went on (somehow I remember, still, for now), because it was a part of the entire experience which I had. But in the process of peeling back the layers I’m afraid to lose something in the sensitivity and freshness of purely having lived through it and felt it, without ever thinking about it. Delicate indeed.

There is a very cute spider crawling around my ceiling at the moment. It’s the perfect spider size, aesthetically, I reckon. Small enough to be noticed and cute, and not big enough to make my sister scream and insist that I kill it. I still hope no one in my family comes into my room and finds it tomorrow though.

I’ve never really been a “fan girl” of any sort. Yeah, I’d say such and such guy from band/film/editorial/whatever is hot or sexy, but I’ve never really been one of those girls that actively drool over celebrities and such. This said, there are maybe half a handful of exceptions. One being James Franco. And the other, since the night of Friday 12th November, being Jamie Burke. At least I’ve met and exchanged a few words with the latter, you know, so I don’t sound like a complete dick when I say his voice vibrating through my eardrums was like audible sex. Would be very audible sex. Sorry. I’m often times against the supposed attractiveness of a man with a guitar in a band, because too many of these are put on some undeserved pedastool (by my standards anyway), and they aren’t even that great. But I think the combination of sexy man, ripped shirt, guitar, sexy voice, nice enough band, and orgasmic London accent is truly my weakness.

If there ever is a time where I wish I had my mythical “come hither” look tamed and available at my beck and command, it would be if I ever meet aforementioned half handful.

I can’t believe it’s Christmas Eve already. I’m not ready for Christmas feasting yet. I’ve consumed far too much food and drink this week to last me until the rest of 2010.

I know this entry is so scatterbrained. It’s literally everything I’m thinking of right now, in chronological order. Pretty typical-Amanda of me, I must say. Just for this post I’ve decided to start a new category on my WordPress: Males. Very appropriate way to begin the life of *cough* adult blogging? I was going to make it say “Men” but hey, I’ll keep it slightly broader, eh? Also, I’ve got two places I’d really like to take photos at. Namely, Lottie’s amazing bedroom and this other room with large windows. I fucking love large, photogenic windows. Why couldn’t this house have any like that?!

Current quote featured on my new whiteboard in front of me at the moment: WELL BEHAVED WOMEN RARELY MAKE HISTORY. That’s it, perfect. Motto for the end of 2010 and beyond, I say.

Like a shotgun needs an outcome, like a shotgun, I can’t be outdone

Another two days as whizzed past me too fast, yet again. Although my days have seemed productive enough, I dare not think of how little I have managed to achieve in comparison to my huge list of things to do. I did end up finishing the painting I started a few days ago, but haven’t taken any photos of it yet, so I will post that later, along with some shitty self-analysis of it, haha.

Sometime in the midst of all this cloudiness, rain and then lack of rain, and utter, torturous humidity, I’ve watched a couple of decent films, sent gifts overseas, and attained a very bright Rimmel lipstick in the shade of “shocking pink”. It’s not quite as pink as I would have liked, but it will do for now. I’m not too sure what’s come over me, in this search of a very, very bright pink lipstick – anyone that knows me even just a little bit would be expecting me to wear nothing at all or a hot fiery red instead. But all that aside, I’m just looking forward to my dinner date at some mysterious, unknown location (it’s probably not a big deal, but I love – and hate – not knowing where it is, haha), followed by some scandalous dancing with Lottie. Truth be told, it will probably be nowhere near as scandalous as our dancing the night we befriended each other, but how good the DJ set is will determine how low low low we’ll get.

Some shots from Zowie’s gig at Galatos on Saturday night – the rest can be found here:

Oh Johnny boy… I don’t know what’s happening with Cut Off Your Hands, but last year Johnny was their replacement guitarist, and now he’s paying for Zowie. Either way, always a pleasure to have an excuse to stare at him, be it through the lens or not. Although, boy he moved a lot and was hard to photographer. Especially under that harsh light his angle was at.

I’ve been completely head over heels in love and lust with the band Warpaint and their new album. This is one song I just can’t get out of my head, to the point where it’s almost irritating because I was trying to write a song, and I just kept finding myself humming this thing to myself! Lyrics from “Undertow” were also the source of my last blog entry’s title. Can’t wait to see them at the end of January, although now I’m kicking myself over not having seen them in their hometown of LA.

The other song that is currently on repeat repeat as I type this is Lykke Li’s “Get Some”. I swear the lyrics of this song are akin to those that I have written before, but am too scared to actually publicise, haha. The video is pretty awesome too, so check it out.

And last but not least, the trailer of Somewhere, which was directed by Sofia Coppola. I went and saw this at Rialto with Lottie and her sister yesterday and we all absolutely loved it. I know a lot of people have given it bad reviews, saying it’s about absolutely nothing, but they’re missing the point! It’s all in the beauty of the mundane-ness of this movie star character’s life, and how he ultimately feels like nothing. Beautiful. Here’s the trailer – which has a lovely soundtrack, just like the movie does – I highly recommend this movie.

Now i’ve got you in the undertow, nobody ever has to find out what’s in my mind tonight

The last time I had my hands on a waterproof camera was on a school snorkeling trip about 7 years ago, so needless to say, when I discovered that my friend Jason’s digital camera was waterproof, I was beyond ecstatic. Today we had our hockey team swim/barbecue night at Jase and Sam’s house, but most people had work during the day and didn’t make it until dinner time. The weather’s been overcast and raining for most of the week now, but just as it didn’t deter us from playing hockey (and winning the huge meat pack that we ate tonight!), it didn’t deter us from leaping into their pool. I discovered today that I look really retarded underwater, and as usual, I’m the one with the red nails pulling faces, haha:

It was a shame that a few people on our team couldn’t make it, because we ended up having difficulty finishing the food. The end of the recession must have dawned upon us – or at least the hockey department of things – because our meat pack prize was at least twice as big as last year’s!

Salad we whipped up. You can’t see from this angle, but it was a bloody huge salad.

The winners’ meal. Grins. A lot of them.

We ended up playing an intense of Monopoly after dinner – the first time I’ve touched it in years! – which resulted in a lot of haggling and yelling and just utter chaos, really. Good fun.

Strawberries mum bought from the strawberry farm out in Clevedon – best in town. Seriously.

There’s a lot of stuff on my mind right now but I’m simply too tired to formulate them into words right now. Also, I “finished” my painting from the other day. And by that I mean I’ve run out of ideas of what else to add on top of it – photos soon. Another thing that’s possibly coming soon is a “jewelry I wear” post, because someone requested it on formspring. I don’t know if/when I’ll get around to this though, because it kind of seems a little narcissistic and showy?

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