Raves about anything, everything and yet nothing at all.

Nights I spend alone, I spend ’em runnin round lookin for you, baby. Lookin’ for love. Cause there’s something that I get from myself, And there’s something that you give to me. And if I’ve got one without the other, Then it’s not enough to be – I need your love

My blogging absence has been shocking. In all fairness though, I’ve had my grandparents, aunty, uncle and three cousins visit us from Taiwan for Chinese New Years, so most afternoons (once I wake up, haha) and evenings are spent entertaining the little ones, and letting them follow me around. As of today, my aunt and uncle have gone back to work overseas, but the rest are still here until the 2nd. Good news is, I’ve started (too slowly) working on a new theme for this blog because words cannot express how sick of its appearance I am!

But I really wanted to make a post before the month was out, and most importantly, because I have a big four days ahead of me. Monday is the Laneway Festival, and the boy and I couldn’t be more excited. We’re also really disappointed with the unfriendly timetable, and so a lot of sacrifices will have to be made on the day… I just don’t understand – why would they overlap Washed Out and Toro Y Moi?! And Twin Shadow. But especially the first two – they’re the same genre, and if you like one, then you pretty much will definitely like the other. Why couldn’t Feist or someone else (and I’m going to get shot for saying this in public) who I couldn’t care any less about, clash with one of these more “minor” acts, so that the crowds would be shifted away? Haha. That’d be the day! So by the looks of it, I have to sacrifice seeing Twin Shadow and The Horrors, but luckily I’ve already seen and photographed the latter before. A quick search showsjust how much I’d been looking forward to Twin Shadow. Sigh.

The other really big deal is that the boy and I have our one-year-anniversary coming up. All of my friends have commented on how much looonger it seems that we’ve been together, and I’ve been surprised to hear a few “it’s only been almost a year?!”, although I guess we’d been a long time coming and are very, very close. And we both feel that it’s just flown past; but in all seriousness, I’m kind of freaking the fuck out. A year’s a really long time. To me, at least. To the both of us. We were never quite the “long term committed relationship” type – and in fact I hate that label, but I guess we’re not “just for now, goodbyeee in a coupla months”, so hmmfph, yeah. Just ask any guy who’s ever been in a room with me, and you’d know what a freakish, unplanned and unpredictable piece of nature this relationship has been for me. I’m terrible at relationships and I’m just plain terrible. But I’d like to keep thinking that my crazy antics and mental instability is made up my sheer awesomeness. We still haven’t made concrete plans yet, so that’s a bit annoying, but oh whatever, it goes with the spontaneous territory that I am.

I’m super sad and pissed off at myself because at dinner last night I accidentally opened the back of my camera up since I’d forgotten that I’d put a roll of film in there already. The only two black and white photos I’d taken were of the boy and the cat sleeping… my two main men were angled just right, so fucking magically… but now they are forever lost to the grave of exposed films. It’s doubly sad because the boy totally hates the idea of sleeping with my cat, so it was a rare accident that he was in such deep sleep and the cat had slept next to him, rather than tried to sleep on him. Argh!

And yes, the travel photos and stories will be coming soon… for now, some film photos from the end of 2011, right before I went overseas:


2nd hand bookstore: self portrait #1.

2nd hand bookstore: self portrait #2.


Reflection of the sky tower. Managed to get this shot riiight before the light went green.

Post-exam celebrations at Non Solo Pizza.

Then he had to cut his hair for work :(

The boy’s room.

Beeeach.

but in the evening I will have to go, what I most want is bad for me I know

First post of 2012! I’ve been back from my trip for almost a week and I’ve really missed blogging, but have been far too busy to blog until now. I’m going to pan out the travel posts over a long period of time because the boy and I simply got up to too much fun to be able to blog about properly if I tried to do it in one go. Plus, I need lots of posts to spread out the photos in… once I’ve culled the thousands down to a handful per post, ahem. I think I’ll also try and write the posts in such a way that it can be helpful to people who may like to visit the same places! And I know that sounds rather unlikely, because Taiwan is yet to become one of the top places for people to visit, but it’s in Lonely Planet’s Top 10 for this year, and most people just aren’t yet aware of what it has to offer. Coincidentally, my friend happens to be swinging by Taiwan for five days with her family next month, so hopefully more people will be soon enough.

In short, these are the places I’ve disappeared off to for the past month, and the dates for each:

  • December 16th: Taiwan
  • December 18-23rd: China
  • December 23rd – January 7th: Taiwan
  • January 7-9th: Hong Kong

It looks really confusing, but it’s just that the short trip to China was kind of inserted in there at the last minute – my dad happened to be going on a business trip there whilst I was in Taiwan, so I ended up tagging along to Shanghai and Suzhou. But now everything feels like such a denouement after having slept in a tunnel of fish, sharks and stingrays in an aquarium, then spending New Years Eve (the best, ever!) at a rooftop party right next to Taipei’s 101 and its amazing fireworks. Especially since I got to experience all this with my sweet hand-holding, camera-lugging partner in crime. I just want to rave rave rave about the trip and rave rave rave about the boy, but he doesn’t need to let it get to his head, haha. A really new thing for me on the trip was the fact that I let go of my “do not photograph me, I’ll take your picture instead” attitude, so now there’s the most photos of me than there’s ever been in ten years. And I’m happy with that.

My grandparents and uncle’s family are visiting us for Chinese New Year and they arrive tomorrow, so I don’t know how many family obligations I’ll have in the next couple of weeks. But there will definitely be lots of yummy food which I’ll have to keep burning off with my 3-game-Wednesday nights and watch out for impending dread on the arrival of university in a month. I’m taking on a new degree at the same time as finishing my music degree, so we’ll see how that pans out, hmm.

For now, just a belated Happy, Happy New Year!

I didn’t mean to scare you, but I miss you… Catharsis’ burning

I’ve been surprisingly productive today – I finished up the last couple of (major) items for the boy’s early-Christmas present and let him open them extra-extra early. They’re early because I leave New Zealand in a week, but now they’re super early because I didn’t have the patience to wait any longer to give them to him, haha. I also managed to plant some lettuce and tomatoes in the backyard, which, for anyone that knows me, is an amazingly huge feat because I refuse to do any form of gardening since I have terrible hayfever and I’m not fond of gardening anyway. But it’s for the greater good – who doesn’t like fresh salad from the backyard?

The big, exciting, screaming-at-TV event of the day was the fact that the Black Sticks (NZ’s national hockey team) drew with the Netherlands and get to progress through to the medal rounds of the Champions Trophy. Non-hockey fans/followers/players won’t know what the heck I’m on about, but it’s basically a very large and important tournament and it’s being hosted right here in New Zealand at the moment. I ended up watching the game a bit delayed, but I made sure to not have accidentally heard or seen the score beforehand, so the Black Sticks coming back from 3-0 down to draw up even was just incredible. Best stroke I’ve ever seen as well.

In other matters, let’s talk about the Food Channel. I don’t know what it’s like overseas, but I’m sure everyone must know of an equivalent? It’s the channel that I always turn the TV to, whenever I’m leaving the lounge and mum is still in it. I’ve never paid attention to any of the shows before – in fact I usually consciously tune them out because there is just way too much impossible-looking and far too flash sounding food on there – until the other night… I saw the most amazing recipe for a mango cheesecake, topped with a lemon and basil syrup, that I even recorded the darn thing. And then I proceeded to watch the Food Channel for a whole hour between 1-2am just earlier. What is happening to me?! I Next, I dug out mum’s Jamie Oliver cookbook (his first one, the only cookbook I’ve ever used) and actually skim-read through the whole thing and dreamt up all the weird and wonderful times I might have cooking some of the things in it, and for whom and when this may someday happen. In fact, I’m seriously craving some lamb shanks or a good roast pork at the moment. This is so abnormal for me. And I have a feeling the boy’s stomach is about to become a very lucky, well-fed one in the near future.

The other thing I did today was take a ridiculous amount of photos of my affectionately cute and adorable cat. Mum and I were sitting on the couch, about to turn and snap at Flakey to get off the dining table (he obeys because he knows he’s not meant to) when we noticed something was on his nose. Turns out it was a polystyrene ball and we thought it was the most adorable thing ever, so of course we had to whip the camera out. Mum also decided to adorn him with a hat from one of her porcelain dolls… I don’t think he enjoyed it much, and this is a ridiculously image-heavy post, but he is just TOO CUTE.

AM I RIGHT OR AM I RIGHT? He’s cute even when he looks confused and agitated, haha:

Mum took these ones below (and the one of Flakey sleeping, on the right over here):

And Happy Early Birthday, Christine – I know you’re reading this and wishing you had a cat. I hope some smart people got you a cute kitty for your birthday on Friday! (and sorry that I did not…)

Yeah I’m just crazy, I’m fucked in the head. And maybe if I really tried with all of my heart, Then I could make a brand new start in love with you

I made a really nostalgic playlist that is pretty much comprised only of songs from 2008 and 2009. At first it started off as an accident that all the songs were from 2009, but then I sort of continued it on purpose. I’m the sort of person that has rather intense phases with a certain band, album or song in particular, so every time I sort of come out of a phase, I get a really lost feeling like, what the heck did I listen to before that? So here are some oldies:

 1. Lust For Life – Girls
To be honest I never really got into Girls until recently, but this was always pretty much their only standout song to me. Except now I’m way more hooked on it and hearing it reminds me of Bret Easton Ellis’ Less Than Zero and Snuff by Chuck Palahniuk because I had read both those books in around 24 hours each, both whilst listening to Girls for a significant length of time. I relate far too much to those lyrics (especially this weekend…) and it’s also where this post’s title comes from.

2. Skin of the Night – M83
One of my favourite songs by M83… It kind of ties for first place with Asterisk which I posted last month on this previous playlist. I don’t know where to start when it comes to describing this song except that it’s a must-listen. The lyrics are rather creepy to be honest but I guess that’s part of the beauty of it. And the buildup is incredible… it’s almost got like an 80’s synthed-up sort of feel as well, especially because of the drum sound employed.

3. Crystalised – The xx
I just realised another common theme (besides release dates) with this playlist – it’s full of first-or-second favourite songs by bands I like – and this song is no exception. I like all of these songs so much that I changed the blog post title three times before I left it alone, but it had originally started with lyrics from The xx. I will never get sick of calling their stuff sexy, sly, sexy music. Mmm.

4. With My Eyes Closed – The Raveonettes
It took me so long to decide which song from The Raveonettes’ Lust Lust Lust album to put on this playlist. It’s seriously one of my all-time favourite albums ever, and whilst getting the Youtube link for this song, I got completely distracted and spent like half an hour watching videos of the band discussing each track from the album, ha.I’ve said this a thousand times but I’ll say it again – this song makes me think of those old American movies where there’s a prom scene and the teenage couple are finally slow-dancing. Oh, how I want to slow dance. And dance in general. Sigh.

5. It Will All Make Sense in the Morning – Halou
Whilst looking for this song on Youtube, I ended up watching a trailer for some movie that is (according to the greater world wide web) classified as a “gay hustler” film. Ahem. It looks interesting though. I then went and read a review on it. But I doubt I’d watch it because 1/ I’d never be able to get hold of it and 2/ I don’t think the boy would want to sit through that with me. Oh, I should probably clarify here that the reason I saw that trailer at all in the first place is because whoever made it had used this song in the background. Gosh. Love this song.

6. Say Back Something – Tapes ‘n Tapes
This song always makes me want to cry a little… it’s tugs at my heartstrings every time. Besides the obvious, I can’t really explain why. My favourite lines are when it goes “when you say come back/why don’t you mean it in the morning?” and “say back something/why can’t you look me in the eyes?”, ahhhhhhhhhh.

7. The Thief – Secret Knives
I used to be so hooked on the EP that this song is from. I think they came up (from Wellington) to play shows in Auckland a while back but I wasn’t very onto it, and still haven’t gotten around to hearing their album. I think that might largely be contributed to laziness, rather than the “averaaage” review that someone once gave me. Either way, oh this song and this EP makes me so so sooo nostalgic for 2009. It’s one of the songs that just instantly take me back to 7th form, whether that’s a good thing or not.

8. 2010 – The Mint Chicks
Couldn’t find a better link, but skip like the first little bit unless you’re watching the video because the song doesn’t kick in for a little while. I had this song on a limited edition white vinyl that they had at their “farewell tour” thing a few years back, but a friend of mine kindly left it in my car and it melted in the summer sun and heat – I’m still bummed out about this because I liked that version better than the album version. Oh well.

9. Life Will Get Better Some Day – The Mint Chicks
My “other favourite” track from their Screens album.

I’ve had a really crazy couple of days this weekend and I’m too tired and touchy to talk about it. However, I’d have to say that I’m very proud of myself for pulling off cooking risotto and steak for ten people, as part of a kind-of-surprise birthday dinner that we organised for my friend Cara. And boy is right hand tired from all that bloody stirring! I’ll probably post photos from that later on.

Something from the boy:

The taste of life I can’t describe, It’s choking on my mind

Thank you, for all your kind words. It’s definitely helped a little, towards feeling somewhat less isolated. I’ve been quiet for a week, joined at the hip to the boy, ever since his last exam last Tuesday. We’ve done so much (and arguably very little…) this past week, I simply don’t know where the time has slipped away to. In this week we’ve watched a lot of films, a lot of Boston Legal, ate and drank too much; but I think the two most significant events were going to a cinema together for the first time, and SEEING PORTISHEAD.

I know, I’ve rattled on about my excitement for Portishead in virtually every blog post for the past couple of months. And it wasn’t unjustified. They completely blew my mind. Beth is so, so, so goddamn amazing. The main letdown for me was the crowd. I need to stop wasting my time getting angry and bitching about the crowd, but let me just say this – they were more disinterested than teenagers at a classical concert! The boy and I were pretty much the only people singing along and getting really into it – and we kept getting told off for enjoying ourselves! That pissed me off so much. I only have crappy photos (below) because I was too busy singing/dancing/crying/laughing/snogging and oh yeah – arguing with the arseholes in front of me – to be taking photos, but I do have several videos that have rather good sound quality that I’m really happy to have. I used up 4GB on my little Canon point-and-shoot, just mostly from taking videos. Even on the videos the sound quality is so good that it sounds like it could’ve come off their live album. As I said – Beth was fucking amazing. I still can’t get over that. Just her voice, her execution, her tone. Oh, I’m dying of admiration. And I’m not even a vocalist – but I love her voice and appreciate her singing abilities that much. The other thing about the videos is that you can hear the crowd around us fucking chatting. I mean – are you serious? 1/ YOU’RE AT PORTISHEAD. 2/ It cost a hundred bucks. 3/ IT’S FUCKING PORTISHEAD!!! People are crazy, stupid, retarded… and largely inconsiderate!

I think the main thing I have trouble dealing with, asides from the arseholes, is the fact that the concert felt so disconnected. Yes, it was amazing. Yes, it blew my mind. And I know concerts of your favourite bands always feel so much shorter and time flies – but their set was over an hour (I’ve made a playlist out of their setlist), and yet it was such a seamless blur. Not just to me, but to the boy also. Sure, we were quite under the influence of many rum & cokes, beer and the odd vodka concoction – but we weren’t thaaat intoxicated, we were fully onto it and aware of everything… and yet there is this huge disconnect. As in, I felt like I was watching a video, even though I was singing along and could feel the bass vibrate all around and everything was so real… but really, moreso surreal. It’s the craziest feeling. I’ve been blown away by many bands in my time, but nothing has ever felt close to this. The crazy thing is that, I would totally believe it if somebody told me that it didn’t really happen – that I WAS just watching a video. That’s how surreal it all feels to me. And surprisingly, to the boy also. Sorry for being repetitive. It’s just so fucking weird that I can’t stop saying that! But walking out of Portishead is probably the saddest thing that’s happened all week. That’s happened in a long time.

So, some photos. There aren’t any of the boy and I that are, ahem, PG… that’s why they’re not on here. Yerr. The photographer in me is just dying of embarrassment and “oh my god I neeed a media pass to get my cameraz in”-ness, but here is proof:

Tickets

Euan, Gina and I (we had no idea where they went after a while, they were on the opposite side)

Oh Beth. How she spends the majority of songs standing like that, because of all the spaaaaarse space in the music. Even so. Amazing stage presence.

The second saddest thing that happened all week was saying goodbye to the boy this evening. He starts work at a prominent law firm as a summer clerk tomorrow (for obvious reasons I’m not naming anything here), which meant he had to go home and get his shit together. Aka – iron his shirt. Apparently French cuffs are hard to iron. As I’d said – he should’ve just taken me home with him, but y’know, can’t win them all.

A photo of us, each. I took this photo of him trimming our hedge for us, from my bedroom window. I like how voyeuristic it looks, ha.

He took this photo of me when I was waiting for my turn at pool. I seriously suck these days. This is my “pretend I am totally pulling my weight in this pool-playing partnership” face. We were at his friend’s 22nd birthday dinner, and her house is oh-so-very amazing. Indoor swimming pool? Yes please. Unfortunately we didn’t get to utilise that. But the lights in it were super romantic-looking at night.

And oh yeah, so apparently in addition to Taiwan and Hong Kong, I’m also now going to be spending a week out of my Taiwan-time in China instead. Going with my dad on his business trip. Now I have to re-shuffle all my plans… and work out how to access Gmail over there. I am a chronic email-checker. Gmail is ALWAYS open on the first tab of my Firefox, you see… crap. Lots of rolls of film to be taken of course!

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