Double exposure. I always forget to try it out when I have my film slr with me, but instead only remember when I have a dslr. I ‘ve never really been into the photoshopped overlays out there that try to create the double exposure effect, nor have I really tried to photoshop one before. It just seems slightly less interesting that the “real thing”. There’s a London photographer who I’ve been inspired by for years and years now, and she does a lot of film work as well as messing with double exposures and good old fashioned filters. Anyway, I took these a year ago one night in my room when I got really bored, and they were on the films from California in the last post that had just gotten developed. Nonsensical, pointless stuff, but it was pretty fun at the time. As you can see, I kinda fucked it up at one point, and whoever processed the film and scanned it didn’t make it any better, haha.
Two nights, three of the same people, aren’t we just such moronic funsters… We found a friend’s car on the side of the road and the other two decided it would be fun to leave the poor bloke a little note. I hope nothing happened to his car though, because he left his amp in plain view in the backseat! Also, last picture on the bottom right – isn’t that just such a cute little door knocker? Evenings with shenanigans that I prefer as memories.
My sleeping is messed up, and I don’t ever want to sleep. Yet once I am sleeping, I don’t ever want to wake. The days are too hot and short, and I need to get more things done. I have this weird obsession of constantly having to express myself either in a musical, photographic or written form… but the problem with that is, those things take time, which equates to less time to live out such things which I then regurgitate creatively. Can time please pause when I practise the bass? Or when I want to sit down to either read or write a book? I keep having to try and shove negative thoughts and emotions out of the way, keep having to try and stop wasting time being upset at things and people who aren’t even aware that I’m upset over. And right now, I am holding off eating dinner until I click “Publish” on this post. My life is an endless battle against the current of fast-flowing time. Don’t even let me make a flooding metaphor right now, it would be globally inappropriate, currently.
*I wrote this entry, and then wished that I had written it from the bottom upwards. But it’s 2.36am so I can’t be bothered with rearranging and editing so that it still makes sense… just scroll and scroll and scroll… at least it gets happier as my thoughts run on?*
Yesterday my younger sister departed Auckland after 3 weeks of holidaying back home with us, and I really, really miss her already. The airport was in a state of chaos yesterday – I know most airports are, but the hectic state in which the Auckland International Airport was in yesterday, was above and beyond anything I’d ever seen in NZ before. Firstly, it took us forever to find a spot to park our car , almost akin to that of shopping malls in the pre-Christmas rush. This never happens here! We had admittedly gotten to the airport on the late rather than earlier side of things, but still well on time… except somehow the queue dragged and dragged, and eventually we were told that some system required for travelers to the states was down, and things had to get authorised by the US first, before they were allowed to manually enter something or another. After over two hours of hovering around, Liv finally managed to check in – officially the last person to do so… well after her “last boarding call” as well as flight time! Obviously the plane would have been delayed by then, in order for her to board, but the announcements of gate closure and the whole “final boarding call” thing really didn’t help us with our stress. But funnily enough (and I love her for this), Liv’s biggest concern for mum and I was the rate at which our expensive airport parking was ticking up at. It was evidently the least of our concerns by then!
I’ve always hated airports, except when I’m picking up someone. Because, frankly, who likes to see loved ones depart, regardless of the reason? And if they’re not a loved one, then I certainly wouldn’t be seeing them off an an airport, unless I was doing a favour to someone by dropping them off. It took every mature ounce of self control in me that I could muster yesterday to not let tears roll down my cheeks – after all, Liv is simply going back to Malibu to resume her study and golfing, but I couldn’t help but feel left behind – like I’m missing out on precious sister time with her whilst we’re still young. It certainly wasn’t easy the first time round when she first left in August, but it hasn’t gotten any easier now, seeing her off for her second semester
I wonder if saying goodbye to people gets easier for anyone else?
Goodbyes are my biggest weakness. In mandarin, “goodbye” is translated literally as “again” and “meet”; so my grandma has always said if there was no parting, there wouldn’t be the joy of reunion. In a way, this is perhaps the only thing that keeps me afloat when I think I can’t handle saying goodbye. Writing this now just makes me miss not only my sister but my grandma. I wish I could put into words all the things I’d like to say to her. She was such an influence on me as a young child, and I know a lot of is has carried over – such as my love of words, reading, writing, literature in general, and quotes and the art of chinese proverbs (which I really need to work on). Perhaps a story and tangent for another day…
Here’s a song that Liv and I have been listening to repeatedly for the last day she was here: “West Coast” by Coconut Records. The lyrics are oh-so-appropriate, and the song is really cute:
For a second there i thought you disappeared
It rains a lot this time of year
And we both go together if one falls down
I talk out loud like you’re still around
And i miss you
I’m going back home to the west coast
I wish you woulda put yourself in my suitcase
I love you
Standin all alone in a black coat
I miss you
I’m goin back home to the west coast
The bright side to this entry is the fact that I’ve finally gotten my developed films back! I took a couple of rolls of Ilford black and white film in LA and San Francisco, and I’ve uploaded them all to my photography site, so click here for the full set. Seeing these just makes me 1/ really, really want to go traveling again; 2/ not regret having killed my left shoulder by carrying a fiml slr as well as a dslr around everywhere in a bag; 3/ miss using b/w film, and wish that film development wasn’t such a hassle (I had these mailed back to Taiwan for processing as it was far, far, far cheaper, even with postage fees). Here are some of my personal favourites:
I remember how excited I was on the plane when I took this… and how I wondered as to how good this photo, and the trip would turn out to be.
Powell Street in San Francisco, at the bottom of one of the cable car lines. I love love LOVE this city.
How amazing is this music store?! It was completely filled with 2nd hand music equipment. Found in North Beach.
Golden Gate Bridge, of course. With an Amanda-spin.
Under the in famous bridge.
It took me ages to get this shot – I had to time it so that the people all around me all sat down or ducked down at the same time!
View from inside the cable car.
Palace of Fine Arts.
Post office in Hollywood.
Window of Urban Outfitters, Cahuenga Blvd.
On the way up to the Getty Centre.
Getty Centre after dark with long shutter exposure. No one dared to walk in front of me and my camera – I had to ask them to please proceed!
I admittedly stalked down a few (hopefully unsuspecting) people to get some photos…
Like this.
Self portrait in a series of mirrors at the souvenir store. It’s also my first facebook profile picture change in a year!
Oh yeah, before I forget, one nice thing came of the long and arduous wait in the airport check-in queues – we passed a lot of the time chatting to a cellist who studies in Lansing, Michigan. The guy was super nice and relatable to talk to (not to mention a bit cute, shhh); turns out he’s actually pretty amazing, according to not only the internet, but youtube results. I’d always said… in another life, if I were to be a classical musician, I would totally pick the cello.
So cheers to yet another chance encounter with someone who shone a bit of light on my day and also a little on my dreams. Sometimes it’s nice to have the world seem a little smaller.
Pictures speak louder than words, so this post is purely dedicated to a compilation of 50 photos that my mother, sister and I have taken over the past three days.
We took a trip up north to Paihia in the Bay of Islands with some friends, and had an absolute blast, staying at a house right on the waterfront which had spectacular views. I can’t believe that I personally didn’t take any more photos (thus compiling mum and Liv’s photos too, because we all lounged around and did some things together, but some things apart), but it just goes to show how much fun in the sun and relaxing downtime I’ve been having! We swam (out to a post, twice), sunbathed, played poker, had Boston Legal marathons, sang along to songs in the car, drank beer, took bubble baths and ate far, far too much:
There was a huge cruise ship not too far offshore.
Reflected view from my bedroom window, with Liv in the corner.
View from the house.
Interior.
Lottie on our bed with the ranch slider wide open, basking in the view and breeze.
From the outside.
Super Liquor was right across the road! But we didn’t need it, haha.
Mum took this from across the road in the house, when we were heading out to the beach.
Me and my new American flag towel.
Beach!
I didn’t know my sister had taken this until I scoured through her memory card. What a pervert.
Lo and I. I know, I keep calling her a variation of things, but in my head she is a mix between Charlotte, Char, Lottie, and ultimately Lo from “Charlo” (which is what I type into “recipients” when I txt her).
My feeet.
Second floor view from the house.
Massive kitchen!
Japanese noodles.
Lottie wanting to nick off with my blanket and replacing our cat as the ginger tucked in my blanket whilst on holiday. Adorabubbly-cute, haha.
My risotto in progress.
Final product = risotto with mushroom, onions and chicken. My dinner and everyone else’s late night supper… I accidentally took a reeeaaally long nap, you see.
Meal complete with a CC & Dry, of course.
Mum and her Japanese friends all gave my risotto rave reviews, yay!
Lounge.
The house.
These sunset photos were taken by my mum – when I look at her photos, I can really see where she has inadvertently influenced me in style and composition over the years, without really ever properly “teaching” me anything specifically. She never told me how to compose my photos or how to take them in the first place because she didn’t want to restrict my view… but I guess some things just rub off over time, haha. But I’m glad it did.
In a way, I’m relieved I missed out on taking a drive out with mum and her friends to see the sunset, otherwise I would’ve had an internal struggle with my obsession to photograph everything, versus just taking life in through my eyes, not lens.
The spa that we had for a bath.
Lo blowing some bubble love my way.
Once we turned the jets on, the bubbles boiled over like crazy!
View from the house.
We stopped over at Matakana on the way home so that I could quench my cravings for the delicious ice cream and sorbet there. That, and we needed the girls’ room.
Blueberry sorbet and Chocolate ice cream. I LOVE CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM. It’s my top flavour of choice, I get it 99% of the time – but I knew the sorbet there was amazing so I couldn’t miss out… The girl at the store accidentally gave me blueberry ice cream instead of sorbet at first, so that’s what that glob of purple is, in between the two scoops.
I recommend their ice cream and sorbet, but I fucking hate their stupid queuing/ordering system and their customer service isn’t too hot either. That, and I was super glad the girl with short hair who kept touching her hair whilst scooping ice creams didn’t scoop my ice cream.
KILLER EELS?!?!!!!
The odd tree and the car parked in front of us.
Liv took these as we were crossing the harbour bridge, heading home.
There’s me driving with my left hand and red nails.
“By the time a person has achieved years adequate for choosing a direction, the die is cast and the moment has long since passed which determined the future.” – Zelda Fitzgerald
I think it’s safe to say that I certainly do not live my life in a very safe manner. Wait, that sentence just sounded retarded. But it makes perfect literal sense in terms of what I’m saying. It’s true – I take a lot of risks, some calculated, but more often than not, I ignore such “calculations” and stick with what I want to do/think I should do/think I can get away with. The latter which sounds absolutely terrible, although thus far I have turned out quite “alright”. Point is, I wholeheartedly agree with the above quote, and I am living my life and making my “big decisions” as I see fit – not in the most “sensible” and “safe” manner at all. Instead, doing what I think will lead to where I’d like to be. I think that if I can’t dream big and try to fly towards such dreams up in the clouds at age 19, then there will be no more-appropriate time to do so.
I’m beyond grateful and appreciative towards my parents’ encouragement and support of me, even in times when they disagree with my decisions; I know there are many, many parents out there who simply do not provide such freedom and constant support towards their children. I’ve noticed (and mum’s also told me) that people are either in positive awe of how brilliant it is, or in absolute shock and horror towards my parents with regards to the fact that my sister and I pursue such “unconventional” pathways – and all with their full backing and support! Other parents that my family knows have either high-5’d us for sticking to our guns and going for it, or have taken it upon themselves to try and convince me that music is a stupid course of study that will lead to nowhere, and no career. They’d list all the reasons why I should study law or whatever instead (this is back at high school when I hadn’t decided on my university degree yet), and how I should just keep music as a hobby, etc. It’s as if the decision is so fucking obvious that only an outright idiot would choose otherwise. Even though I am always polite and try to deflect and then divert such conversations, it always maddens me, right to the very core. I just want to say who the hell do you think you are?! Don’t treat me like a fucking idiot; you say that as if I hadn’t thought of all of the above already, etc. Anyway, I don’t even know how that train of thought got here, because then I got distracted and have been reading something completely irrelevant for the past half an hour. Point is, I’m glad I still have a lot of things that I look forward to, because of the path I’ve chosen. Rather than having chosen one which I dread to face the end of.
Yesterday, with just a towel-bag of essentials, I set off for a very long drive out to a friend’s family house, south-west of mine. The weather hovered from very cloudy, sunny, and then cloudy, spitting rain, sunny, then back to the clouds and eventually decent rainfall. Photographically equipped with only a Canon point-and-shoot in the back pocket of my denim cut-offs, I didn’t take that many photos. The countryside experience is more about the intertwined smell of freshness, cow dung and grass in the air, the bugs that crawl on you, and the thorns, sand and mud on your feet. All in all it made for an interesting day – most certainly a very adventurous drive as I wasn’t quite sure where I was going to end up – with great company, great conversation, great food and great fun. In other words, a bloody great day:
Who would ever notice how much they used their right thumb? I never did – until earlier to night when I gave myself a burn blister from the misuse of a lighter. At the time, I said that the pain it caused me was more than that of when I got my industrial piercing last month (and trust me, that hurt like a bitch); but in hindsight, I think the only reason it felt like it hurt more was the fact that it was such prolonged pain, emitting from such a small area. Why was I playing with a lighter indoors to begin with? Well, I had received a wax seal stamp for Christmas and was just dying to try it out. It might sound like a completely random present to a lot of people, but I actually write a number of handwritten letters and have been wanting one for ages so despite the fact that my sister had rather ruined the surprise for me last week, I was still delighted today.
I had to resort to using a candle to help melt the wax in the end, but I also left a bit of a mess on the envelope from where the candle’s wax wanted to interfere. Here is the final product, sealing a letter to a very good friend who is now living/studying overseas:
For some reason here, you can’t see the line of the flap of the envelope, but I swear this wax seal isn’t just sitting on a blank piece of paper!
Pavlova and strawberries for dessert was scrumptious. I really ought to stop pigging out, but Christmas makes for such an easy excuse.
How bad do I sound, admitting that I am over the moon about how overcast and almost (if not? I don’t remember) rainy the weather was today, on Christmas Day. It just gave me a really guilt-free excuse to snooze on and off all day, lounge around with my favourite people and unfortunately also over-eat. I’m just proud I haven’t been doing any drinking, haha.
I’m not sure why, when nor how the tradition began, but for some reason, at our household we have our “Christmas feast” on Christmas Eve rather than Christmas Day. Whenever friends enquire and comment about the absurdity of it, I just say that it means the kitchen is calmer on Christmas Day and we just spend the day indulging in the plentiful leftovers from the previous night. My mum is an excellent cook and Christmas is no exception. We had turkey that was covered in bacon strips, which came out superbly crispy – my favourite texture for bacon. Being so good at roasting things, mum made sure that the turkey was perfectly well done, but retained all of its juiciness. She even made me take pictures as I was cutting it up for proof of its moisture! The vegetables were roasted along with the turkey, giving everything that delicious taste and smell. I’m not a fan of oysters but I did try one, thinking that perhaps I’d prefer them cooked rather than the raw ones I’ve tried, although it didn’t change my mind about them at all. However, what I did thoroughly enjoy was the melted cheese and sauce that mum had topped it with – there was even some leftover sauce in the pan that I ended up using as a sort of gravy on the turkey.
Snowflake had been well fed with Whiskas tin food, which mum especially picked out a turkey flavoured tin of, so for once he was looking rather dozy and disinterested rather than attempting to hijack our dinner table. There have been a couple of incidents in the past where he has actually caught us off guard, with our backs turned, and stolen meat off the table!
Being such a night owl, a personal downside of mine towards having Christmas during summer time is how late the sun sets – tonight it set well past nine o’clock, and we have to wait until it’s well late to turn the Christmas lights on. I know it’s energy conserving and all, but I just love fairy lights so much that they’re a permanent fixture in my bedroom, even. Maybe I’ll take pictures of this at some point.
Dinner was then followed by a dessert of blueberry cheesecake. My hasty photos don’t really do the cake much justice because I was more preoccupied with the notion of getting to eat it, but Lottie can attest to how amazing it was. I told her today when she had a slice that she never should have turned it down last time, and I don’t think she ever will again!
Anyway, I’m just rambling and rambling about food in an uncohesive manner, I’ll just let your visual imaginations take over and get into bed to do some more reading.
