Photography, both mine and others’.

we sway, we grab, at the strands, and the skin, couldn’t cause anymore friction than this

This day a month ago, I was spending the day at Santa Monica with my sister, gorging on frozen yoghurt and feasting on the novelty of simply being there. Just now I’ve attempted to add another day onto my California journal, which is a classic Moleskin notebook that I’ve lived in and lived out of for the duration of my trip. Currently the night of Friday 12th November is still being written out, if only in bullet points that include the details of what happened, what I saw, what I thought, etc. I want to get it all down ASAP before it all slips away from me… but the delicate tiers and layers to my sweet, bitter and bitter sweet memories are just so intricate and intertwined. It’s as if I have to write down every tangent I ever went on (somehow I remember, still, for now), because it was a part of the entire experience which I had. But in the process of peeling back the layers I’m afraid to lose something in the sensitivity and freshness of purely having lived through it and felt it, without ever thinking about it. Delicate indeed.

There is a very cute spider crawling around my ceiling at the moment. It’s the perfect spider size, aesthetically, I reckon. Small enough to be noticed and cute, and not big enough to make my sister scream and insist that I kill it. I still hope no one in my family comes into my room and finds it tomorrow though.

I’ve never really been a “fan girl” of any sort. Yeah, I’d say such and such guy from band/film/editorial/whatever is hot or sexy, but I’ve never really been one of those girls that actively drool over celebrities and such. This said, there are maybe half a handful of exceptions. One being James Franco. And the other, since the night of Friday 12th November, being Jamie Burke. At least I’ve met and exchanged a few words with the latter, you know, so I don’t sound like a complete dick when I say his voice vibrating through my eardrums was like audible sex. Would be very audible sex. Sorry. I’m often times against the supposed attractiveness of a man with a guitar in a band, because too many of these are put on some undeserved pedastool (by my standards anyway), and they aren’t even that great. But I think the combination of sexy man, ripped shirt, guitar, sexy voice, nice enough band, and orgasmic London accent is truly my weakness.

If there ever is a time where I wish I had my mythical “come hither” look tamed and available at my beck and command, it would be if I ever meet aforementioned half handful.

I can’t believe it’s Christmas Eve already. I’m not ready for Christmas feasting yet. I’ve consumed far too much food and drink this week to last me until the rest of 2010.

I know this entry is so scatterbrained. It’s literally everything I’m thinking of right now, in chronological order. Pretty typical-Amanda of me, I must say. Just for this post I’ve decided to start a new category on my WordPress: Males. Very appropriate way to begin the life of *cough* adult blogging? I was going to make it say “Men” but hey, I’ll keep it slightly broader, eh? Also, I’ve got two places I’d really like to take photos at. Namely, Lottie’s amazing bedroom and this other room with large windows. I fucking love large, photogenic windows. Why couldn’t this house have any like that?!

Current quote featured on my new whiteboard in front of me at the moment: WELL BEHAVED WOMEN RARELY MAKE HISTORY. That’s it, perfect. Motto for the end of 2010 and beyond, I say.

Like a shotgun needs an outcome, like a shotgun, I can’t be outdone

Another two days as whizzed past me too fast, yet again. Although my days have seemed productive enough, I dare not think of how little I have managed to achieve in comparison to my huge list of things to do. I did end up finishing the painting I started a few days ago, but haven’t taken any photos of it yet, so I will post that later, along with some shitty self-analysis of it, haha.

Sometime in the midst of all this cloudiness, rain and then lack of rain, and utter, torturous humidity, I’ve watched a couple of decent films, sent gifts overseas, and attained a very bright Rimmel lipstick in the shade of “shocking pink”. It’s not quite as pink as I would have liked, but it will do for now. I’m not too sure what’s come over me, in this search of a very, very bright pink lipstick – anyone that knows me even just a little bit would be expecting me to wear nothing at all or a hot fiery red instead. But all that aside, I’m just looking forward to my dinner date at some mysterious, unknown location (it’s probably not a big deal, but I love – and hate – not knowing where it is, haha), followed by some scandalous dancing with Lottie. Truth be told, it will probably be nowhere near as scandalous as our dancing the night we befriended each other, but how good the DJ set is will determine how low low low we’ll get.

Some shots from Zowie’s gig at Galatos on Saturday night – the rest can be found here:

Oh Johnny boy… I don’t know what’s happening with Cut Off Your Hands, but last year Johnny was their replacement guitarist, and now he’s paying for Zowie. Either way, always a pleasure to have an excuse to stare at him, be it through the lens or not. Although, boy he moved a lot and was hard to photographer. Especially under that harsh light his angle was at.

I’ve been completely head over heels in love and lust with the band Warpaint and their new album. This is one song I just can’t get out of my head, to the point where it’s almost irritating because I was trying to write a song, and I just kept finding myself humming this thing to myself! Lyrics from “Undertow” were also the source of my last blog entry’s title. Can’t wait to see them at the end of January, although now I’m kicking myself over not having seen them in their hometown of LA.

The other song that is currently on repeat repeat as I type this is Lykke Li’s “Get Some”. I swear the lyrics of this song are akin to those that I have written before, but am too scared to actually publicise, haha. The video is pretty awesome too, so check it out.

And last but not least, the trailer of Somewhere, which was directed by Sofia Coppola. I went and saw this at Rialto with Lottie and her sister yesterday and we all absolutely loved it. I know a lot of people have given it bad reviews, saying it’s about absolutely nothing, but they’re missing the point! It’s all in the beauty of the mundane-ness of this movie star character’s life, and how he ultimately feels like nothing. Beautiful. Here’s the trailer – which has a lovely soundtrack, just like the movie does – I highly recommend this movie.

Now i’ve got you in the undertow, nobody ever has to find out what’s in my mind tonight

The last time I had my hands on a waterproof camera was on a school snorkeling trip about 7 years ago, so needless to say, when I discovered that my friend Jason’s digital camera was waterproof, I was beyond ecstatic. Today we had our hockey team swim/barbecue night at Jase and Sam’s house, but most people had work during the day and didn’t make it until dinner time. The weather’s been overcast and raining for most of the week now, but just as it didn’t deter us from playing hockey (and winning the huge meat pack that we ate tonight!), it didn’t deter us from leaping into their pool. I discovered today that I look really retarded underwater, and as usual, I’m the one with the red nails pulling faces, haha:

It was a shame that a few people on our team couldn’t make it, because we ended up having difficulty finishing the food. The end of the recession must have dawned upon us – or at least the hockey department of things – because our meat pack prize was at least twice as big as last year’s!

Salad we whipped up. You can’t see from this angle, but it was a bloody huge salad.

The winners’ meal. Grins. A lot of them.

We ended up playing an intense of Monopoly after dinner – the first time I’ve touched it in years! – which resulted in a lot of haggling and yelling and just utter chaos, really. Good fun.

Strawberries mum bought from the strawberry farm out in Clevedon – best in town. Seriously.

There’s a lot of stuff on my mind right now but I’m simply too tired to formulate them into words right now. Also, I “finished” my painting from the other day. And by that I mean I’ve run out of ideas of what else to add on top of it – photos soon. Another thing that’s possibly coming soon is a “jewelry I wear” post, because someone requested it on formspring. I don’t know if/when I’ll get around to this though, because it kind of seems a little narcissistic and showy?

You’ve been nighttiming baby, you’ve got your pleasures all around you

If anyone ever had a doubt in their mind that I was absolutely and utterly crazy, this post would erase all remaining doubt completely. A few nights ago I disappeared from all traces of technological civilisation when a friend and I decided to embark on a night-time swim. My conditions of agreement was that he’d have to acquire a waterproof disposable camera with a flash on it – the flash and disposable parts were managed, but waterproof doesn’t seem to get stocked anywhere these days at all. But no matter, since we didn’t end up swimming, despite the trouble I went to whilst trying to wrangle my bikini onto my body without undressing. Who on earth still does that? The act rather reminded me of primary and intermediate school changing rooms for swimming or P.E. class, where all the girls were too scared of baring even their midriffs to one another. I don’t know, it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Between the hours of midnight and dawn, we managed to visit a golf course, beach and a hedgehog. I’m the sort of person who has balls of steel until my vivid and over-active imagination kicks in with regards to unknown things in the dark. My nose watered from hayfever, and my eyes watered from my paranoid, triple-coating of mozzie repellent: I’m surprised anyone would risk being caught trespassing with me, appearing and smelling the way I did. Although, having said that, I’m not too sure if we actually trespassed anywhere at all. Is it trespassing if you visit a golf course after hours, with no intention of going near a golf ball? The entire day had been so hot and humid, and it stretched far into the night after sundown. Air so warm that even car-induced wind is not a welcome breeze, and even so much as thinking about moving made my shirt stick to my back.

To whatever glorious person it was that asked me on formspring to post more of my outfits: here you go. Although I doubt I would ever do “outfit posts” (if I did, I would probably feel like even more of a narcissistic jerk that what I already do), maybe you’ll start seeing more of me in photos… maybe.

Thank you, 800 fujifilm in a plastic case buddied with blinding flash:

Bed dive, of course!

Apparently my attire of choice for such a night time excursion isn’t really any different to what I usually wear anyway. Loose black crop top, denim shorts (that I DIY’d out of mens’ $12 jeans from Kmart), and my trusty Dr. Martens.

The hedgehog we photographed from behind because we didn’t want to freak it out with the flash. I think it flipped out anyway.

Rolling down a hiiiilll.

Except for one time in calf-deep water earlier this year, I haven’t attempted a cartwheel in at least 6 years! So that’s why I suck at it now.

Apparently I’m not the only one.

You can’t reaaally see it here, but the thing I am doing a bridge-hold on is a pipe which is mostly submerged in seawater. My back, hands and hair got really wet and sandy from doing this.

The edge of the cliff, into darkness.

Being silly.

Free gift that came with the disposable camera. Like a fold-up frisbee thing.

Hot, sexy, dirty, sweaty dancing tonight. These photos are from a couple of hours ago – Lottie had work and I had two hockey games, both ending at 10pm, but we decided to brave the exhaustion and head out to town anyway. I’m unhappy to say that I didn’t get any goals today (but I tried!), but we ended up winning both games – so effectively I am in the #1 and #3 team in our summer grade, haha. Yay for winning a huge meat pack that we are going to BBQ on Sunday. I’ve got another final to play tomorrow, and that particular team wants to opt for the bar tab, so hopefully I will get the best of both worlds this week.

The new McD’s “extra large” fries – I had underestimated its size and well overestimated my appetite.

I got told off and had to delete this picture, umm. Left: Chocolate, chocolate, chocolate sundae. The faux leather pants Lottie is wearing are mine. I do believe she looks better in them than I, thus why I haven’t really worn them much.
Right: Once again, to the glorious person who wanted to see how I dress – well this wasn’t particularly interesting (apart from the view from the front that men rather enjoyed, I do believe), but I was just wearing a black romper that I bought in LA.

Good god, aren’t I such a healthily well-rounded person! Spot the 3x basses, 1x guitar and hockey bag in the background! Also spot the sarcasm! But in all seriousness, I will give a special shout out to anyone who can actually correctly point out where 3 basses are hidden in this picture.

say it anyway, I would say, wait for me

It feels like the dates of December have blurred into some form of collective humidity. November in California seems like light years ago. I’ve been too distracted in this gallivant lifestyle lately that I can’t seem to do more than three productive things in one day. But today I read somewhere whilst Christmas shopping that, “life isn’t about finding yourself, life is about creating yourself” – an anonymous quote that just rang so loud in my head I couldn’t shake it off. So I’m glad that in about 15 hours’ time I will be having a jam with a man and his guitar, to hopefully put some music to lyrics I wrote some days ago:

If walking away was so easy,
Then why can’t we all?
What is this magnetism,
What is this draw?

Just because it’s there
Doesn’t mean you should
Just because I let you,
Didn’t mean you would.

Wandering through, your unknown house,
Learning your room, like I’m learning you.

If time was so infallible,
Then why can’t we count?
The moments are inconstant
And the moon isn’t round.

Just because you see it,
Doesn’t mean it’s there.
Just because I feel it,
Doesn’t mean you care.

Feeling up your walls, looking for the light switch,
Looking for my mind, afraid that I’m your kitsch.

When we walk so close together,
Something’s gotta give.
When you can’t move any closer,
Into me you start to drift.

It’s not about any one thing or person in particular, but rather like a snowball of how I feel, how people I know feel, and how it all somehow got magically regurgitated through this mind of mine. That sentence itself was like a snowball!

I’m going through one of those periods again where I feel like I am being too much of a Jane of all trades… If we set aside my old part-time cafe job, for the first time ever, I’ve made more money through my photographic work than playing music gigs. That said, the first year of jazz school and all the undesirables I went through this year has really shaken me from the core out. I’ve spent a lot of time on the road, on the plane, in the depths of the night with black ink trawling out from my fingertips, forming words and prose that didn’t exist on any conscious level until the moment they converged with paper. It’s hard to keep up all three outlets for me, balancing time, let alone all the mental factors – bass: practising jazz, refining my technique and writing music that spawns from some mysterious corner of my mind; photography: I’ve just not found the time to set up any of the photo shoots that I’ve plotted in my head, and have mostly just done spontaneous momentous work, which I must admit is my favourite; and writing… I’ve started up a couple of large-scale writing projects which are both hovering in my mind, with only a few pages of actual physical existence. This needs to change.

These photos are from the Viper Room where The Binges and Delilah played. Oh, Jamie Burke, what can I say? His London accent was like velvet to my ears during our far-too-short exchange. More will be uploaded soon, and I’ll be working on finishing my Californian journal.

Before I forget to mention it, one of my summer hockey teams (I play in four teams over two nights) is undefeated and we are playing in the finals on Wednesday night. Yay for a free meat pack to be devoured at a barbecue on Sunday! Yes, I’m already assuming we will hands down win. Hopefully I’ll get some satisfactory goals like I did last week.

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