…the beautiful art of sound.

Is there anything as quiet as a night alone with you?

OH NO: Half way through writing this post my site went down because the webhost had to reboot the server since it was overloaded. Once that was done, I backed up my database just in case, and then tried to synchronise all my files (to my computer, to backup as well), but I had checked the wrong settings and instead of syncing my computer with my folder online, it did that backwards, so effectively half of my files were DELETED. So I’ve just spent the past two hours restoring all my photos from up until October of last year. SO MUCH FOR GOING TO BED AT 11pm FOR ONCE. What was going to be a nice blog-before-bed experience turned into a nightmare. Oh my goddd. This is what I had written before this all happened though:

This is my umpteenth time being left home alone to fend for myself, but for various hazardous reasons, this time is also going to be the most challenging three weeks ever. Judging by my productive rate of five tasks in seven hours, I don’t know how on earth I’m going to get through October – aka jazz assessments and assignments. The only things of note that I’ve managed to accomplish today are: attend one hours’ jazz piano class at uni (was 7 minutes late, too… which is always helpful), put petrol in my car, did the grocery shopping, scribbled some things down, and most excitingly of all – fussed over the Laneway Festival lineup announcement. I’m not the excitable-hype-hype-HYPE type, so I won’t jump on the band(rambling)wagon right now, but let’s just say I’m very pleased and thoroughly looking forward to it. And no doubt I will post playlists again soon.

I think this is about to become a mini documentation of “how Amanda battles procrastination and juggles domesticity” for the next three weeks, until mum returns. It’s not that I don’t ever do the dishes, put on the laundry, clean the bathroom, cook three meals a day, put out the rubbish, feed the cat, let the cat out at 5am, clean the litter box, vacuum the house, collect the mail and deal with bills – nor does it have anything to do with my abilities to do so – it’s just that usually they’re (okay, rather unevenly) split between mum and I, and suddenly, in the busiest and most stressful three weeks of my whole year, I also have to do all those things, all by myself. Sounding like a spoiled brat aside, I think the biggest hurdle for me in terms of all the things I have to do is that I have to do them alone. Cooking for one just sucks. So does doing the dishes alone, without someone to chat to or share a cup of tea with.

Also, I tend to start going a little mad when I’m left for long periods of time on my own. Even if nothing is actually wrong, my old depressive and anxious spurts just come back to haunt me, if all I have for days on end at home is the cat to talk to. Maybe that’s where the “crazy old cat lady” stereotypes come from – because being alone with only the cat to talk to really doesn’t help with the escalation of madness. Gah.

Needless to say, I was more the overjoyed when the boy decided to bring his studying over for a couple of hours and let me cook him dinner. I’m sort of offering open dinner invitations to friends now, so as to have someone to cook for. I doubt it’ll actually work out too often because I have hockey two nights a week and I tutor on two evenings as well, but what the heck.

To round off such a messed up evening, here is an amazing song by Twin Shadow, who the boy and I are going to see on our almost-one-year-anniversary next January at Lanway. I love the video that this person has dubbed over the song though, it’s scenes from Before Sunrise and Before Sunset – two lovely lovely lovely films that fix so magically, so perfectly. It makes me gush, and I hate gushing, so there we have it. Reminds me that the boy and I need to finish watching them together. Oh memories… of one fine evening’s attempt to watch them, haha.

Click here for the video (the person who made it disabled embedding, gah!)

And oh… HELL YES THE ALL BLACKS ARE IN THE SEMIS!!!

And the hunger of those early years will never return, But I don’t mind, I don’t mind

Daylight savings is messing with my head. I know we’ve only flicked our clocks an hour forward, but somehow that hour throws me off so badly. It’s weird that I handle weird jetlag far better than this! I had my “technical jury” today, which is a technical assessment on everyone’s main instrument, in front of a panel of two teachers. It went well, I think. Not flawlessly, not amazingly, but well. And to be honest, that’s all I need right now. To be relieved. To breathe temporarily. I feel like I’m just clinging onto this university year by the fingernails (that saying sucks, bass players have really short fingernails!) so that I will be able to fall into the abyss of dreaming once again, come November. And then I will once again have to make some way-too-serious decisions about my courses next year that will potentially affect me for the rest of my life. What’s with young people and having to make big, huge decisions around the ages of 17-21? Maybe it’s for this reason that I sometimes feel I suppose the US college system where people just get a Bachelor of Arts or Science and then do post-grad if they want to do something more specific and refined. The whole specialised degree thing in New Zealand is kicking my arse right now. I don’t want to be a uni student for that much longer!

I was looking for some old travel photos earlier and stumbled across this – a photo someone took of me from 2 years and 2 months ago. I want to be that thin again. Somebody please preserve my generous bust-line and lipo my thighs away, please! That sounds awful. Urgh. Seriously though, if it weren’t for the fact that I tore those jeans in Malibu last year, I would try and take the same photo again, just to compare, for self-torture self-motivation. Why do us females do this?! So many blogs that I read have at some point or another (if not currently still) been through some kind of weight-loss scheme. I can’t handle taking tight-skimpily-clothed-photos like Amanda does, nor will I ever go “on a diet”, so I don’t see the point in rambling about this, but can my magic lose-4-kilos-nonsensically powers please come back? kthanxbai. (btw, that was the first – and last – time that I’ve ever typed that “word”)

“it would be nice to look like this again” photo. Everything’s just kinda gotten bigger – bigger boobs, bum, and hmm, hair is a close tie for size, I’d say – but they didn’t need to be! gah.

Tokyo, 2010 – taken by my friend Joel

Whilst I’m on the topic of useless requests, I’d really like to be transported back to Tokyo like about now. As seen above with some sunnies, Canon, asymmetrical-zip trench coat and thigh-high boots. I guess when I’m that covered up, I still look exactly the same… In all seriousness though, the good news of this post is that the boy and I are going to Taiwan and Hong Kong. We finally paid for our flights today, and I will leave for Taipei in mid-December, whilst he finishes up work and joins me on Boxing Day. We’ll mostly be doing awesome things everyday, as I tend to do whilst traveling – galleries, museums, shopping, eating, drinking, dancing, gigging, and photographing our way around town. It’s going to be a blast, and it will be the first time that I’ll see the infamous New Years Eve fireworks at Taipei’s 101. We’ve only got two nights in Hong Kong though, so trying to cram all the things to do there will be interesting…

I’ve also been going on and on about wanting to go to London and New York (I don’t care which first, at this point!), but as neither of us can afford it right now – obviously not after this trip! – it’s been put on the back-burner of things-Amanda-constantly-remembers-to-wish-aloud-for, haha. I need to take up more shifts promoting chocolate and crackers at the supermarket. Uni is getting in the way, but hopefully I can earn some moolah in Nov/Dec to save up ahead of time.

Taipei, 2010 – taken by my friend Joel

And summer hockey starts this week, yay. I’m playing in two teams on both Wednesday and Thursday, so it’s going to bring a lot of exercise for me that has lapsed since winter hockey finished this month. Maybe this getting-my-old-figure-back thing might actually happen after all, haha. In the meantime though, I just might tape up my knees so that they don’t get skinned and see blood, as the law ball is on this Saturday. You’ve been warned: the boy has bought the most amazing suit ever, and to be honest, I don’t think he ought to go out in it as it’d just be a waste of hundreds of dollars since I’ll just want to rip the thing right off him. Plus, it means I have to fight for the limelight, which was meant to be relatively easy in a gold dress, but not so, next to a fucking gorgeous blue suit worn by such a handsome lad. I really miss him tonight, can you tell?

love changes everything, I see my life in daydreams, little scenes of you and me

Winter seemed ridiculously long, yet far too short at the same time. The boy says I keep saying these juxtaposing sentences which makes no sense, but I think that on some levels they do. In the way that whilst I hate the piercing wind giving me head and earaches and making a wreck of my hair, I’ve only worn out my big long coat twice this year. I keep staying up far too late and not focusing on the right things but I’m adamant on posting this playlist before I hit the hay tonight!

And out of humour rather than offense, here’s the highly stereotyped and highly generalised breakdown before the playlist itself – if you like “nice” and what I secretly call “disposable music” then ref to #3 & #6; for those into more electronic-based sounds (see what I meant about highly generalised?), ref to #1, #2, #4, #8 & #9; #5 is a generally what people refer to as “indie rock” and #7 is very, very noisy. In fact I had wanted to post different songs by the band, but figured it was probably too self-indulgent to post such questionable noise which I love. And for the record, #2, #3 & #4 are songs with female vocals.

1. Should Have Taken Acid With You – Neon Indian
The boy and I obsessed over how awesome the first chord of this song was, and I was determined to find The Kills’ song which had the same chord (it’s on “Hit Me When You 1-2”, by the way). We were discussing how apparently this song was initially an apology for a missed acid date, and I said it would have been amazing if I were to one day receive something of the sort in my inbox, but you know, wishful thinking… Although we did devise loose plans for me to teach him the basics of playing guitar. That would be nice. Anecdotes aside, this is just a nice and chilled out song. Sounds like he knew what acid would be in sonic form, haha.

2. Stonefruit – Halou
I can’t get over how the song builds up. How it washes in and out relentlessly. I can listen to this song on repeat for aaaaages, no joke. In fact, I’ve done so many times before.

3. Love You Strongly – Amy Stroup
From whence the title of this entry came. It reminds me of song #6 on this list, that’s why I’ve put them both on. To be honest, I could easily (and I guess I am now) classify this as a disposable pop song by another singer songwriter, because there’s nothing ground-breaking nor particularly innovative in the song at all. But to be fair, I still like it just because it’s sweet. It’ll be forgotten by me soon enough, I won’t deny, but I think it might become one of those songs for when I need a dose of something sickly lovey-dovey. I say damn right love changes everything, it makes me fucking mushy and he knows it.

4. I Follow Rivers – Lykke Li
To those who know what Lykke Li’s music sounds like, you’d know what I mean when I say that this is pretty “Lykke-Li-ish”. There’s two main components that I like about this song. The first being syncopated drum motif that weaves in and out in all the right spaces of the song. The second is the declaratory lyrics and the matter-of-factly manner in which she sings it. Once again, loved up shit.

5. This Heart’s On Fire – Wolf Parade
It was pissing me off that I couldn’t remember the name of the guy who Wolf Parade’s singer’s voice reminds me of… and then a quick google search later, I realised that they’re the same person, d’oh! Major oopsies. Yeah, so I was sitting here going, man they remind me of Handsome Furs (who I actually stopped listening to after I saw them live… long story for next time, perhaps), and then I realised that’s because Dan Boeckner fronts both bands. Idiocy aside, I uhh enjoyed the guitar sounds? That sounds lame. I was going to mostly go on about the vocals, but obviously that was a failure.

6. 3 Rounds and a Sound
It’s just a nice, typical love song with sweet lyrics. And as I mentioned above, I only put this song on this playlist because song #3 sounds reaaaaaaaally, excruciatingly similar. But hey, it’s still sweet?

7. Deadbeat – A Place To Bury Strangers
I really felt like putting A Place To Bury Strangers’ song on here, but my other picks had less recognisable riffs and I thought was probably too noisy for most readers… so I picked something with (not as awesome, dammit!) lyrics, but is kinder to the ear. Bear with me, I love noise noise noiiise. Speaking of which, last Friday the double bass I was playing at uni started feedbacking into the amp and I had NO IDEA how that happened. Twice in a row! I’ve never ever produced bass feedback before in my life, let alone with an acoustic bass that was just plugged in. I know it sounds really backwards that I was so happy that it happened, but bear in mind the context that I’ve been putting up with singers and guitarists causing intolerable feedback for half my life, and I could finally enjoy the luxury of creating such a noise. Plus, it actually sounded good, rather than screeching and deafening. It totally made my day, haha.

8. I Can Get Love – Toro Y Moi
Digging Toro Y Moi’s new EP. It makes me bop and dance around in my room wearing only my boyfriend’s t-shirt. You know those Bonds ads? I totally do that. ALL THE TIME. Those black hipsters are the bessst.

9. Arcade Blues – Neon Indian
After a few more (okay a LOT more) listens, this song has ended up being my favourite song off Neon Indian’s latest album that I had posted about in the last playlist. But unfortunately the site that was streaming the album off has ceased doing so, and this particular song can’t be located anywhere else online. So you might just have to uhh “source it” in order to hear it. But I love love love this song. Not 100% sure why exactly though… it’s just one of those songs that you feel instantly familiar with, even though it’s brand new and you’ve never heard it before. That’s how I feel about it anyway.

As for what shenanigans I got up to on the weekend, it was hockey prizegiving! Which essentially meant trying to not over or under-dress, and definitely entailed getting a bit tipsy. Our captain, Sam, is Irish and had tickets to go see Ireland vs Australia in the pool play of the world cup, but she managed to pop around to our pre-drinks for a couple of photos first. I am SO HAPPY that Ireland beat Australia! (Awaiting the backlash from my Aussie readers now…) It’s going to be interesting to see what happens now because this essentially means that Australia and South Africa are on a collision course in the round after pool play now… Which I’m sure no All Black supporter would mind. And to those who commented on how they didn’t realise that rugby was so popular – well just remember the context that New Zealand is a Commonwealth country, AND we have one of the top rugby teams in the world (hopefully THE top team, soon!) – which for a population of just over 4 million is something to be proud of – and the fact that it’s the most popular sport in the country!

Not to digress further, photos of aforementioned shenanigans below. And also, what the hell but some guy took his pants off on the dancefloor and we saw EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!! It was SO uncalled-for and I thought it was hilarious how several of my team mates commented on how they’re glad they know that they’re “going home to” afterwards, haha. I know it confused the boy for a while because my last txt to him before my phone ran flat was a report of the pant-less incident, and needless to say he was relieved to see me sometime after midnight!

 

There are 5 people on the team that were absent. Lame.

Awesome snacks that I mostly didn’t touch because I wasn’t hungry, gah.

Nicole (our goalie) digging out the shots that she brought for us, ha!

Vice-Capt Sav grinning in the centre – her new house was super nice.

That’s my hand there with the red nail polish, surprise surprise.

I’m still not a Bailey’s fan. Eck.

Kim’s first ever shot of anything, I’m pretty sure. Girl is crazy.

Me with my trusty Speights beer. Liz our “player’s player” and Kim.

Remember Kevin Bacon? We gave him some beer, haha.

Okay yeah I just got sick of captions. Bedtiime. It’s well overdue.

want to hate you but then I kiss you, want to kill you but then I’d miss you – you drive me crazy but I love you

Edit: PAGE OF THINGS FOR SALE HERE!

I feel absolutely dreadful today. I think I contracted a cold overnight, and that, mixed in with my allergies today, means I just feel physically miserable. So I dug up a photo of a nice view from a very happy day, and just thought, oh take me back there!

Taken in San Francisco back in last November – I can’t believe it’s been ten months since I was there – I really, really want to go back there again. I’ve got to! One day, when we can afford it, I’m going to twist the boy’s arm and make him come with me. Not that I think any arm-twisting is actually necessary… that is, once the “when we can afford it” part is sussed. Speaking of going away though, we have another trip (this time overseas!) brewing in the works, for Christmas/New Years – just have to book the flights and suss it out. It’s going to be absolutely amazing.

In case you hadn’t noticed, I love traveling. And I’m currently using happy thoughts and memories of it as a means to feel less miserable. I REALLY cannot afford to be sick right now, what with uni resuming again on Monday (I have a test that very day!), and the Rugby World Cup starting on Friday night – which means a big night out, I’m certain. The good news of the day is that the job interview I had yesterday was successful, and now I have part-time/casual work that will pay fairly well. No doubt the funds collected from that job will go towards traveling elsewhere again. I swear, I’m more than happy to empty my entire bank account into two things: travel and fashion – and to be honest… it seems that’s all I’ve been doing since last year.

Which brings me to the next bit – I think I’m going to start trying to sell some of my old stuff on here for cheap. Because Trademe/Ebay and the like are honestly far too much effort, so selling directly here only seems to make sense. My life has changed so much in the past year, that I guess it’s only fair enough that my wardrobe should too. Since it’s been a constant “in with the new” in both life and attire, I guess it’s about time I get on with the “out with the old” part as well. My friends and the boy only know too well how much difficulty I have with letting the past and old things go, so… well this might be a small step towards that. I swear, I often “test” myself by thinking about the worst things possible from the past, just to see how much I can bear it. Like, what the hell is wrong with me?!

Sooo, playlist time:

1. Take Off Your Cool – Outkast with Norah Jones
I love how this song opens with acoustic guitar that sounds nothing like Outkast, and then the crooning comes in… and you know it. Norah Jones is sexy as always though. I remember being a 12-year-old and singing along to her album that mum would play in her car.

2. Crazy For You – Best Coast
Uhh, pretty much how I feel about the boy. Ref to title. That’s all. Oh yeah, except for the bit where I really am, for sure, definitely crazy.

3. Heart in Your Heartbreak – The Pains of Being Pure at Heart
I remember hearing this album for the first time and thinking, oh my god, I swear I’ve heard this before! It’s just a really familiar-sounding album for me, and I mean that in an endearing way. This song is retardedly sweet and painful and all those silly things that I adore.

4. Blindside Kiss – Neon Indian
A couple of hours ago the boy txted me saying that I should listen to Neon Indian’s new album, because he thought that I’d like it. And I do. No more, will I get them confused with Ariel Pink. This album is much more shoe-gazey-and-hazy, and this song is a prime example. I need a lot more listens. The link doesn’t go to Youtube, but goes to some place where the album is streamed, by the way.

5. Strangers – White Lies
Is it fair on White Lies to say that this song is the epitome of what I think of them as? A running bass line, recurring melodic idea on synth, same old deep vocals… I’m making this sound awful, but I swear it’s not. It’s nice. That’s why it’s on here. I’m rambling now. Because I just had to blow my nose three times in a row and now my ears are under pressure, my head hurts, my throat hurts, and the point is, I lost my place as to what I was going to say about this song, dammit!

6. Clinging On For Life – The Hoosiers
This song seriously makes me want to cry.

7. Rome – Phoenix
Because Phoenix are fucking awesome! And listening to them makes me think of the film Somewhere (that they largely hogged the soundtrack of, obviously…), and it’s funny because I had watched that film right after I got back from California, and it was so surreal going “woah I drove down that street too”, or whatever. Who’s the boy you like the most?

You don’t own the green pines, The blue sky, or the smoke. You don’t own the dust in your Big brown eyes when you keep them closed

I’m just itching to make another playlist right now, but I really should go and cook dinner. I’ve been indulging in lounging around far too much and pretending to myself that these two weeks are an actual holiday when they aren’t… I really need to get started on the two tests I have next week, as well as memorising the 40 songs I will need to know in 7 weeks’ time. Damn. In the meantime, it seems the whole country is either in a buzz (or downbuzz) over the fact that the Rugby World Cup starts in just FOUR DAYS, and we are hosting it. I used to follow the rugby avidly, but after so so sooo many disappointments (mostly at previous World Cups), I’ve sort of given up hope. I don’t want to over anticipate it this year only to be disappointed again – so I’m hoping my keeping a low profile in my head when it comes to rugby will make us winning it this year that much sweeter. Here’s to hoping…

The boy accompanied me on a large excursion around town the other day. I had an appointment on the North Shore, which prompted us to pay The Department Store a visit, where the boy ended up buying this Vanishing Elephant coat for a very good sale price – and it’s so super nice that I rather want to steal it. Speaking of stealing his jackets though, I’ve discerned that I can pull off wearing pretty much all of his jackets. Now the tricky thing is to con him into actually letting me wearing them outside of his bedroom, hmm.

The weather was amazing. I’m not usually a sunny-day person, but who can complain about this?

I thought this photo was funny because usually it’s me wearing a silly grin whilst he has a weird almost-smile thing going on – but it’s reversed here, haha.

Anyway, the exciting thing about our wander around several central spots in town was that I’ve finally picked out something amazing that I’m going to wear in just under a month’s time. It cost me an arm and a leg, but I think it was well worth it considering what a timeless piece it will be, and that I might even contemplate wearing it to my 21st birthday party next year – that’s how amazing I think it is. It even came in pretty packaging too:

Mystery item, haha.

And lastly, I started this painting about three months ago, but hadn’t touched it until yesterday. It was a whole lot of textured black and white until now… It’s still far from finished, and I know the owl isn’t 100% realistic or anything (I was not about to attempt that), but I have a whole heap of work left to do on it that will hopefully make the whole thing a lot more abstract and layered – which is pretty much my kind of thing to do. Also, the poor cat has been in a buster collar for the first time in his life because his leg is still infected from a cat bite that happened a while back. It had only healed on the outside last time and started bleeding again, so the vet had to give him an anti biotic shot, and I’ve had to clean the wound twice a day, as well as stop the scab from healing up too quickly. A rather cringey and painful task for both him and I. Physically painful for him, and heartily painful for me.

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