Precision. It’s something that I lack so much lately, yet need so badly. I’ve met all my new teachers and I must say that it’s really dependent on luck whether or not you get a good teacher. Some teachers like to cover every little detail and revise over all the regulations we’ve already learnt during our previous two junior years, whereas others simply throw the work at you and expect you to handle it 100% perfectly as if you’ve been taught already. The first full week of school hasn’t even finished yet, and already I’m in danger of falling through the cracks of “learn it yourself or fail”. I know that I definitely prioritise contrary to what my parents would like. For example, as of right now, it’s beyond midnight, I have unfinished homework of 3 subjects I have tomorrow, yet I was still up torrenting, then watching “The Zen of Screaming” DVD by Melissa Cross. Whoot, I’m going to get rock-screaming (think The Datsuns, The Morning After Girls, etc).

Hopefully my auditions for the bass/double bass parts in school bands/orchestras go well.

I really need to get to bed a lot earlier now that school has officially started – year level sign in’s were last week and tomorrow is the official, first full day of school. Year 11/Form 5 for me, whoo! Which means Liv is in year 9 in the same house as me now – she’s got the same form teacher that I had in year 9. Ahh, the good ol’ days.

In other matters, I’ve currently got projects flying everywhere, and we desperately need a band name. Argh.

Just Like You

Half of you is pulsating through my veins,
I can’t deny, there’s some things that I wouldn’t change;
When I saw I’d hate ‘me’ if I were someone else,
It’s all too true, ‘cos I realise that I’m
Just like you.

The whole world revolves so fine around you,
And they all say I’m a splitting image of you.

That was written about the way I momentarily felt about my mother last night, after yet another argument. At times we’d get along perfectly, agreeing on everything, but once we start to conflict, it’s WW3. I feel retarded when I think she’s being ridiculous or pathetic at times, then realising that I’m “just like” her. Of course I’m not exactly like her, but there are far too many similarities both visible and not. Sigh.

I’m single again, and to be blatantly honest – I’m lovin’ it. I had a 13-year-old tell me that “yes, he’s taken three months of your life, no you can’t take it back, but it was worth it”, so I guess I’ll go with it. This may seem harsh, but after the initial shock wore off, I realised how long gone I was that I didn’t hurt all that much. It wasn’t a complete lack of pain – I think I just wasn’t hurting for the right reasons nor in the right ways. I wrote this a couple of nights ago, I’m not sure how much of it is relevant to how I feel, but it is relevant to some extent:

Unfortunately, I didn’t want you,
All I wanted was somebody to
Hold me when I was lonely,
Listen to my babbling.

With or without you,
I’m still the same person.
You didn’t complete me,
You were just an accessory.

I’m not perfect,
But neither are you.
It doesn’t guilt trip me,
So don’t lie to me,
Cos I know you’re not everything
That you make out to be.

It’s funny how I always have such a buildup previous to blogging, with so much on my mind that I want to blog about, yet it all disspates when I finally sit down, log on and do it.

In other matters, our band now lacks a drummer, since our previous one realised that he couldn’t handle two bands in his last 2 years of college. Argh. What a pain in the arse. “Drummers” are everywhere, but none that are actually decent. So now I’m not sure how it will be possible to get our act together, find a miracle drummer, and complete a set to fill in a 20-minute slot in a gig by the 5th March. It’s back to unlocking that stone-cold heart of mine for some material.