Hi, today my name is Sophie

I was not a happy chappy when my manager rang and informed me that I was working 10am-6pm both Saturday and Sunday this weekend – especially since I had hardly been at school all week! Alas, I sucked it up and went to work yesterday, bracing myself for the inevitable headaches that were to strike – and strike they sure did! But surprisingly, at the end of the day I was feeling perfectly fine except for a case of exhaustion and exterme sore feet… where had the heavy-headedness gone?

Apparently, we’re all meant to wear badges with our names on them, but I never got issued one, so I ended up having to wear Sophie’s for the day yesterday. It felt bizarre, no one other than my co-workers had ever felt the need to address me with the use of my name, but once I was “Sophie”, it stuck. It got to the point where – and I kid you not – my classmate who’s been in my form class since year 9 (we’re year 13 now) came in for a coffee yesterday, to whom I was overtly friendly and said hi and all the standard things you say to someone who you’re supposed to know “pretty well”, and just ten minutes ago I logged into my gmail to discover andemail alerting me that she’s left me a message on facebook asking if it was indeed me that she saw at Columbus yesterday… merely because I was wearing someone else’s name tag. Surely, surely seeing me for a minimum of 30 minutes per day (for two years it was about 3-4hours), and actually being a semi-close acquaintaince of mine for the past 4 years and 3 weeks must mean something against the three-minute brief encounter at a cafe?

Another thing that I was pondering inbetween the countless cutlery sets I folded was – would it be better off doing a boring, quiet job sitting on your arse all day (because yes, sure you wouldn’t be exhausted, but my golly would the time pass slow), or would it be easier doing a fast-paced, hectic job like mine, except having to spend the whole day on your feet?

The smell of comfort

I’ve been sick at home all week, only tallying up a day and a half at school. It’s barely the end of summer, not even autumn yet, and already I have this awful sinus infection that makes me nauseous, my head heavy and dizzy, and has given me the most disgusting gunk at the back of my nose and throat – I just want to spit it out, but oh it’s just there… I’ll spare the gory details.

So sitting around at home hasn’t been really productive. I’d tried to read my American history and economic tetbooks – the pages that my friends have tried to get me to catch up on, but to no avail. When I’m sick like this, nothing works. I couldn’t even handle skim-reading the newspaper – somehow I read the same line 5 times without it registering, and completely gave up. My sole comfort so far has been watching old episodes of ER and Sex and the City online; and today I vamped this place up with a new theme. The header features a photoshopped image of layers of photos from over the summer, it’s not very exciting, but I was just so sick of seeing the old theme. In addition to all this crap, I can’t seem to stop stirring up problems with the boy. I have a short temper, an inability to express how I feel other than the negative, and me being completely burnt out just does not help, especially when he goes to a different school and I’m always preoccupied. But oh, I don’t know, it’s all a mess in my head, I just want it all to be okay. He came around for a while earlier today. Then for about two minutes after dinner. And despite all the shit that I put the both of us through, when I hug him, the smell of him is like the smell of comfort to me. It’s nice. And in those moments I feel safe.

I hate farewells

I suck at saying goodbye. When I was younger and we would have family friends over, I would always be so depressed when they leave at the end of the evening. Or when I’m either sending a friend or family member off at the airport or am the one travelling away myself – either way, I don’t deal with goodbyes very well…

And so leaving V’s house tonight was awfully painful for me – knowing that tomorrow morning, she’ll be flying down to Palmerston North to do her vet degree for the next 5 years. Despite her coming back for Easter in April, then May for my 18th, it’s still not the same – she won’t just be a 10 minute drive down the road anymore…

“Express” lane, anyone?

I hate when I have to go all the way to a supermarket – okay that’s a slight exaggeration on effort, because there are about 6 supermarkets within a 10-minute drive from my house and I drive past them all the time – just to get one thing, only to discover that even the express lane is insanely long. But that’s okay, right? I mean, those checkouts are limited to people with 12 items or less, so theoretically it should be much, much faster in a long queue of bachelors with bottles of shampoo or beers in hand, as opposed to mothers with shopping trolleys stacked full to the top…

Unfortunately, that theory may as well go out the window when the checkout operators are stupid. We have a thing called the “one card” system, which can be used at supermarkets such as Foodtown or Countdown, that gives you extra discounts – all you have to do is swipe your card before you pay at the checkout. So here I was at 9.30pm on my way home from my piano lesson, needing to buy a 20-pack of mini chocolate bars as prizes for the sports quiz that I’m meant to conduct at House Assembly tomorrow morning, and not only did I wait a full ten minutes (if not more), for 4 people in front of me to get served (and feeling sorry for the 7 behind me), until it was finally, finally my turn. I swear, it took her at least 30seconds to pick up and scan my bag of chocolates, after which I was holding my eftpos card on the machine, ready to swipe, and she just stands there with an impatient bitchy look on her face, glaring at me – what for? the fact that I was card-in-hand, ready to pay, not waiting for her to ask me to?! After a stare-down and a half, she finally realises she hadn’t clicked the eftpos key so the machine wasn’t ready for my card, I finally make some progress towards my escape from her… and then my card was declined. For $4.55.

I’d evidently forgotten that I had dinner out on Sunday night and hadn’t transferred my money onto my card. Embarrassed, I quickly handed over $5 in cash, only to have the checkout girl give me a “WTF ARE YOU DOING?!!” look; and, juding by her half-opened mouth, she appeared as if she was just on the verge of saying it too. Honestly… how much louder could the eftpos “DECLINE” beep have been?! It was loud enough for me to have gained a sympathetic gaze from the last guy in queue, as well as send a woman chuckling, surely, surely the person whose job it was to get money off me would realise?! ARGH. Anyway, my chocolate mission took me about 20 minutes… time in which I could’ve watched an episode of something online, or driven about 15-25km!

V Weekend

I just watched a depressing 2-hour documentary on the Documentary Channel and I’m not very coherent right now. I hate Sundays, I really, really do.

University starts in a month… unfortunately, I’m not going to be there for yet another year, but it means that a lot of my friends are leaving. One has just been accepted on a full scholarship to the music conservatory in Singapore, a couple others are awaiting on acceptance into American Unis; but the one closest to home is V – she’s not even leaving the country but in about a week and a half she’ll be moving down to Palmerston North, which is about 7 hours drive south. Friday night we had a party, with farewells used as the excuse. I’m not sure why, maybe it’s the shitty mood that everyone’s been in, but most people go drunk much faster and with less alcohol as usual, and the party ended a lot earlier than usual. I think it’s rather ironic that some of the finest students in the country are forced to give up their (entire) social lives and move down to Palmy for up to 5 years in order to complete their veterinary degrees, as it’s the only place available in the country. Mind you, I suppose that cons them into studying much harder?

As for Valentine’s this weekend, amongst other things, I got a rose and tulip. The tulip’s an inside joke though, but I liked its shadow on the wall…