But I’d love to see you before I leave, I leave next weekend, I’m not ready to go

Knowing that I’m a sleep-wrecking advocate of “trying to do it all”, my sister sent me some lecture notes from her religion class about how we simply can’t “do it all.” Whilst I haven’t gotten around to reading the lectures themselves (I think I can be forgiven, some days I have uni from 11am-6pm with virtually no break!), the email with her views on it have been really interesting. So I’ll rephrase — I’ll try to do everything I can. Good news is, I did make it back into the Division 1 hockey team after all, despite panicking about how badly I had trialled on the first day; I must have made up in round two.

Anyone who knows the boy and I quite well would know that we’re not advocates of marriage. I don’t even believe in little things working out, I’m such a bloody pessimist. Being the lofty thrill-seeking person I am, it’s surely no surprise that I always question the doctrine of monogamy. Without going on a huge tangent, I’ll clarify that I’m not about to ever be a swinger, and I simply couldn’t deal the jealousy and uncertainty of being in a “relationship” that isn’t monogamous. But I often encounter existential issues like “what’s the point?”, or my strong belief that I can’t be with someone unless, for its duration, I believe that I’ll always be with them, and will always want to be. Regardless of if that actually plays out in reality, I feel like, if that’s not how you feel when you’re together, then WHY would you bother being “together”?!

Some time in 2012 I devised a test for “how I may one day use to gauge whether or not I will accept someone’s proposal for marriage” — this is, assuming that anyone would ever be crazy/stupid/brave enough to stick their neck out for slaughter like that. The test is, I’d ask myself whether I would be willing to get a tattoo related to the person. It doesn’t have to be their name or anything, just, something sentimentally, symbolically, intimately related to them. Everyone knows that it’s a dumb idea to get a lover’s tattoo (sorry for the grand generalisation, though I’m not sorry if anyone actually thinks it’s a great idea), but regardless of if I’d ever follow through with something so stupid, I think if I could ever answer that test in the affirmative, then it would be pretty telling. There is so much more on how I feel about all this that I haven’t breached, but I’m looking forward to chucking my casebooks and real book on the floor, and climbing into bed with a book called Sex at Dawn. Before anyone jumps to any conclusions, it’s a New York bestselling anthropological book with the subtitle that reads “How we mate, why we stray and what it means for modern relationships.”  I think the key point to be extracted from praise on the back cover is “that humans evolved to be monogamous” — a topic I’m clearly fascinated by. It seems messed up that I’ve talked about these things for years but this book actually belongs to the boy and he read it sometime recently and has since shoved it under my nose. Let’s ignore the fact that I’m three quarters through Malcolm Gladwell’s What the Dog Saw and the infamous American Psycho. Those can surely wait, whilst I uncover the thread of how modern human relationships came to be, right?

Here is Master Flakey, cute as ever, always managing to find a spot of comfort in the mess of a life I lead. I’m going to miss him so soo sooooo much when I move out soon.


  1. Tori March 21, 2013

    That book sounds really interesting. I often find myself underscoring the idea that marriage is merely an institution that serves financial/legal purposes. If both parties find it mutually beneficial to get a green card, lower healthcare rate, or tax break or something else (I don’t know, I’m not that old yet) through marriage, then that maybe all it takes for two people to enter into it. By looking at it that way, it allows people to take “ownership” of it, since they can define the purpose of their union if they feel love is a bs reason to enter it.

  2. Joy March 22, 2013

    Let me start by saying that I sincerely appreciate your opinion because you’re certainly entitled to it.

    Everyone has their own thoughts on marriage but for me, it’s very important. It has nothing to do with money or security but devotion and being a team. I’m a Christian so I supposed that’s why I believe in the importance of marriage. I honestly never thought I’d get married but here I am, blissfully in love and ready to spend the rest of my life him. Although, I don’t think I’d ever get a love tattoo. Mostly because I wouldn’t get any form of tattoo haha.

    Thanks for you input on the topic thought. It’s always interested to see other individual’s take on it.

  3. Becca March 22, 2013

    I believe in marriage, but I definitely think that it’s something that needs to be thought out and that it can’t be rushed into. It’s also not necessarily for everyone, which is a bit of a different topic. Haha, I think your test is a pretty good gauge! Though, I’m not really sure I would do that for anyone (since I totally agree that lovers’ tattoos are stupid), despite how long I’ve been in a relationship with them. It definitely makes you think though!

    D’aww, I’m not a huge cat fan, but your cat is very cute. :)

  4. Stephanie March 23, 2013

    The only reason I still believe somewhat in marriage as an institution is because my parents have a very strong relationship and are doing very well after 20+ years and one pair of my grandparents are very happy together after 50+ years. And I think that I would love to get married at some point, just not now.

    In this day and age, marriage isn’t much of an institution because divorce isn’t a big deal anymore. But I think I’d like knowing that someone in the future will always have my back, and that I’d take care of him when he needs me in return. And if he can be my best friend ever, which is true for my parents, then that would be great as well. The only point of marriage and weddings is to tell everyone else that you’re committed. I’ve heard of unwed couples who are totally committed and decided to have kids together and don’t believe in marriage who appear very married in every other way.


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